Leonardo's Jealousy
by FredGirl
Summary: A CRACKFIC with not an ounce on seriousness. Edward sleepwalks and cheats on Leonardo with an unlikely somebody. EdwardXLeonardo. Oneshot. Blatent OOCness. Warning: Do not read if you are fond of trees.


A/N: First thing you need to know about this, is it is a CRACKFIC. This means that it is meant to be completely stupid and OOC for purposes of entertainment. This is not serious in any way. Good. Have we settled that?

The idea for the story came from the first roleplay I ever did with my friend pasywasy (or on some sites, Ranulf). I made a drunken Ike make out with a fridge for some bizarre reason unknown to man. This story is written for Ranulf in thanks for all the awesome stuff that they've drawn me. I thought they'd find this funny. So, I hope you like it Ranulf!

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There was one thing that most people didn't know about Edward (or, as his boyfriend liked to call him, Eddie). He sleepwalked. Only those who were part of the Dawn Brigade knew. On this particular night, Eddie got out of his bed, walked outside and started making out with… A tree. Yes, a TREE. A particularly big pine tree, to be precise, that was approximately 100 years old.

Leonardo (or, as his boyfriend liked to call him, Leo), happened to be awake that night, reading a book about pine trees that Nolan had made him read, claiming it was the "most interesting, exciting book in the world". As you've probably guessed, the book was far from the most interesting and exciting book in the world. It was so boring, that Leo put the book down and decided that he'd take a midnight stroll around the camp.

When he saw his boyfriend making out with a tree, his first reaction was jealousy. He'd never seen Edward make out with him like that before!

Then came anger. Edward was cheating on him with a tree!

He stomped over to where Edward stood (well, Eddie wasn't exactly standing, he was straddling the tree) and yelled, "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?"

Edward didn't wake up.

"EDWARD LET GO OF THE TREE AND STOP MAKING OUT WITH IT!"

Edward didn't let go of the tree and stop making out with it. Some people woke up and complained about the noise.

"YOU LITTLE—" Leonardo released a tirade of swearing so foul that it caused Miciah, who had just woken up, to faint.

By now, a few people had come out of their tents to watch the scene.

"EDWARD, YOU BETTER STOP THIS INSTANT OR IT'S OVER!"

Edward finally woke up, ceased making out with the tree, slid down it and opened his eyes. "Huh?"

"YOU CHEATER!"

"Leo, what do you mean? I just woke up…"

"YOU WERE MAKING OUT WITH THE TREE!"

"Wh— What?"

"I SUPPOSE I'M JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU, HUH?"

"That's not it at all, Leo!"

Leonardo glared at him menacingly. "Well, if you like the tree so much…" He, stepped back, pulled out his bow and shot a few arrows so that Edward was pinned to the tree.

"Hey!"

"LET'S SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT WHEN I START MAKING OUT WITH A RANDOM TREE!" And with that, Leonardo started kissing the tree.

Poor Edward didn't have a clue what was happening. He had woken up to find his boyfriend was furious with him for a reason he didn't understand and then said boyfriend kissed a tree. "Leo, are you feeling okay?"

Leonardo was too busy to answer. He had discovered that the tree was a _very _good kisser. When Edward had eventually recovered from his shock, he pushed himself away from the tree, grabbed Leo and dragged him back off to their tent.

"LET ME GO!" Leonardo yelled, flailing helplessly.

"Not until you listen! Leonardo, I was sleepwalking."

"You… You were?"

"Yes! And I love you more than anything, too much to even consider cheating on you."

"Really?"

Edward laughed. "Yes you idiot." And so Edward started making out with Leonardo.

The next morning, Sothe came and yelled at them for causing Miciah to faint. Neither of the two boys was listening, of course. Edward was holding Leonardo tightly, stroking his hair and blocking out Sothe's scolding. Leonardo was asleep.

I apologize for the complete retardedness and weirdness of this story, I don't quite know what has gotten into me. Don't bother reviewing this one unless you really want to, I think it's horrible so the world will probably think it's even worse. Flames will be used to cook my breakfast, I'm starving.

FF_2122438_1374061827 Mark Stephens Page 2 of 2


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